I find the men that come to my studio and their relationship with their sexuality absolutely adorable. They have an air of slight shame about them, as they get naked to go to the shower, before our session. Its this cloud above their heads, knowing that what they are about to do is completely emberassing and oh if someone knew or saw them in this moment. This is mixed together with such child-like excitement, of going on a very very mysterious adventure, which deserves the outmost presence and respect.
These men have been fantasising about this fetish or activity for years. If we crudely calculate, lets say, the phantasy life of Mark, a man aged 58 who started going to Dominatrixes to fulfil his desire to kiss and massage feet and to be spanked. He told me his phantasies and obsessions with feet started as a teenager. I imagine almost every kinky person starts having these phantasies as their sexuality is growing, lets conservatively say at the age of 18.
If he started fantasising at that age, then its been 40 years of this fetish, all kept a secret.
If he thought about it at an average of one hour per week, which I imagine is also a conservative estimate, thats 52 hours a year, and 2,080 hours of secret phantasies and desire he did not even dare sharing with his wife.
Marks specific story is interesting though. A year before we met, at the age of 57, he realised that he cannot keep his phantasies unfulfilled anymore. He confided in his wife, asking her permission to go out and see a dominatrix. I always knew there was something up with you, she told him, and easily agreed to his request. Is it really good enough reason to stop a 40 year old marriage? Because somebody likes feet? I guess thats for each couple to decide for themselves. She said, as long as it doesn’t interrupt with their own sex life (which impressively they still have one. Marks penis is functioning very well for his age)
Not only did their sex life not diminish, it has actually become better, he told me.
Another beautiful man with an even more socially unacceptable fetish told me about his relationship with his wife- they have small children and of course nothing should risk their family life, definitely not the fact that he likes to wear stockings while being tightly bound in rope or leather bondage.
She is kinky too, and they play, him being dominant. Their sex life seem to be not bad either. She loves it to be dominated by him so he can play out that part of himself. But she refuses to change parts and dominate him. He keeps his hobby of meeting dominatrixes a secret, and only sees them when travelling for business in other countries.
While playing he disappears completely into another dimension, theres no other way of describing it. He is extremely sensitive and sensual, and keeps contact with me with every inch of his being, while his eyes are rolling at the back of his head and his body is completely fixed to the bed, or rolled up in foil and tape.
Although he does not move much, and is too far away to be able to utter any sensible word (needing about 10 minute after a play session to be back into this realm of logic and language) he is a great play partner, because his breath and moans clearly reflect his state of excitement, and give me feedback of how he’s doing.
I put shiny, women stockings on him and feel him melt into arousal and relaxation. I tie him up and he is completely drifted away into surrender and trust. He especially like it when I wear him with women boots, and his arousal gets more intense, just from the feel of tightness on stockings covered legs.
When he is in this state he is so innocent, so pure. like a baby. Maybe thats why his wife doesn’t like to play with him in this way. is it too much to see her man become like a helpless child? Must she have him be the strong provider at all times? It is clear that we are not always the biggest and strongest of ourselves. As a matter of fact, I know from my own life that at moments where I am required to be the biggest and best, I also need to be the smallest, to know that I am loved, safe, and taken care of.